what i’m scared about is my friends forgetting about me, or moving on from me while i am living elsewhere. it’s paranoia, and i’m often paranoid about things i know wont happen, but what if they did? i took them for granted and i feel terrible about it, and somewhat selfish now because it’s my loneliness that made me realize it.
for once i’m not unrealistically setting a time limit for a goal. i understand it’ll take awhile, and i understand i just have to keep at it.
i want to learn to sew.
i want to go home and see my friends and family. i want to get drunk and cry happily with my friends. i want to dress up and go out.
i want to sleep in. i want to stay under the covers everyday.
- high waisted jeans from AA, not jeggings
- more knitted sweaters
- knee high/otk socks, not the cheap kind from claires
- christmas socks, wool socks
- black boots
- new gold hoop earrings
- plain gold band rings
- scrubs/face wash/face masks from lush
note to self
face mask every 3 days, coconut oil every night before bed, wash face morning and night, no heavy makeup, treat yourself to baths and bath bombs, wash your hair less, put coconut oil in your hair and always on your skin after shaving, start eating breakfast, more fruit, no pop whatsoever just tea and water, less caffeine, cook for yourself, eat healthy, exercise 30 minutes a day but don’t stress out about not doing enough or if you need a break take one it’s not a race, stop spending money on food, stop stress eating/eating out of boredom, stop stressing about things you can’t change, instead embrace what you have and see only the good in yourself, save money but don’t hesitate to buy the pair of shoes or jeans you really want, limit computer time, read more books, write more lists, stop thinking about weight and more about how you feel and how you look to yourself (and only yourself) in the mirror
think of how disappointed you’ll be in yourself if you look back at this list in a month or so and realize nothing has changed